


calita

by AllegoriesInMediasRes



Series: Ramayana fics [33]
Category: Ramayana - Valmiki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Gen, Oneshot, Prophecy, Some period-typical internalized misogyny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllegoriesInMediasRes/pseuds/AllegoriesInMediasRes
Summary: You will betray Rama for a woman.Lakshmana hears the prophecy at Sita’sswayamvara.calita (Sanskrit): cause to deviate, being on the march
Relationships: Lakshmana/Urmila (Ramayana), Rama/Sita (Ramayana), Sita & Lakshmana
Series: Ramayana fics [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1105638
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14
Collections: Hindu Mythology Event





	calita

_You will betray Rama for a woman._

Lakshmana hears the prophecy at Sita's _swayamvara_. It's hurled at him from some passing bard, likely from the kingdom of one of the failed suitors. The scoundrel glares at him, before turning his sneer upon the eldest princess of Mithila, and his meaning is apparent.

It's easy enough to dismiss it as the ravings of a disgruntled poet - as though he would ever dream of having designs upon his brother's wife - but Lakshmana wonders, when he garlands Urmila. He cannot let anything come between him and _Bhaiyya_ , and he had nursed serious doubts about the prospect of matrimony before being persuaded to marry the younger _Janakasuta_.

He pushes the idea away. He knows his duty as a prince, and he does his best to build a happy relationship with her, until the day of Rama's coronation and Kaikeyi Ma's ultimatum. Unease flickers inside him when Urmila begs to be allowed to come. Hurt flashes across her face when he says she will be a distraction to him while he is serving Rama. Lakshmana mollifies it slightly by asking her to take care of his mothers, since three of their children are leaving, and the other four are in Kekaya - _plotting the gods know what kind of treason_ , he does not say aloud. When Sumantra takes them beyond the gates of Ayodhya, Lakshmana leaves his wife behind for good, with both shame and relief.

(Relief and shame fills him when he and Urmila strike their deal with Nidra Devi: that she has proven herself true after all, that he ever doubted her.)

* * *

Ascetic life in the forest dulls his recollections, and duty fills his mind. He is in regular contact with only one woman, whom he strictly reveres and whose eyes he never meets.

Then Surpanakha tempts him, and _Bhabhi_ makes wild accusations of him, and then she disappears.

He struggles to make sense of the prophecy, in those frantic months when they are searching for her, with no word or sign. _Did I misremember it? Perhaps I got the words mixed up. Did I betray a woman - my own_ bhabhi _and mother - for Rama?_

_Did I betray them both for my own anger?_

* * *

Back in Ayodhya, under the roof of the royal palace, clad in silks, Rama and Sita on the throne and the next heirs in her womb, when all should be well, and Lakshmana is breathing hard. Not even when Indrajit attacked him with the snake spell did his throat feel so constricted.

They are standing in the dark palace hall, and the line of _Bhaiyya_ 's mouth is firm and unyielding. Always Lakshmana has thought of Rama and Sita as a matched set, the perfect mirror of mutual devotion and dedication. He had fourteen years to witness every step of their journey together: she crossed the length and breadth of the earth for him, he the ocean for her.

(The flames of the _agnipariksha_ crackle in his ears, loud and spitting and sparking.)

Rama and Sita have been sundered before, but never like _this_. Now Rama is planning to banish her, while she is pregnant, for the sake of wild rumors. He does not even plan to tell her himself, but instead commands Lakshmana to take her into the forest and leave her there. None of his words will sway him otherwise, and finally he snaps, so coldly, "You are my younger brother. You have always obeyed me. Obey me now."

Lakshmana recoils.

Darkness presses upon his eyes, and determination settles in his heart.

"I will," Lakshmana nods. "I will do as you command, Your _Majesty_."

He turns and stalks out of the hall.

* * *

He takes Sita into the forest, but he does not leave her there. He goes with her, and accepts the sentence of banishment for himself as well. The two people who love Rama most leave him behind, in the splendorous, empty palace of Kosala.

 _You will betray Rama for a woman,_ Lakshmana remembers dimly.

_And so I did, after all._

Lakshmana, who would have committed fratricide and patricide and regicide for Rama, who renounced the world for his feet, who fell twice on the battlefield for him, finally discovered the one thing that would make him betray Rama. All his life he breathed for _Bhaiyya's_ name alone, and now he feels distinctly unmoored, like a boat cut loose to sea. But he looks upon _Bhabhi_ , her head held high but her eyes weary and her feet swollen from the babies, and certainty drops into his stomach with the weight of an anchor.

(He remembers Sumitra Ma telling him about the difficulties of carrying twins, how hers had been the most tumultuous pregnancy out of the three queens.)

"The dark is coming upon us, _Bhabhi_ ," he says respectfully, "and we must find shelter."

She nods after a few seconds, a dazed look still about her. Still she does not move. Wind rustles through the trees, and the Yamuna river burbles somewhere nearby.

"I built us a hut before," he reminds her, "and you turned it into a home. We have done it before, and we shall do it once more."

She looks upon him. She nods again. This time she sets off, her pace a decisive stride, him a step behind her.


End file.
